The Day I Stopped Asking for Permission
by Tiffany Patton
The day I stopped asking for permission was also the day I realized I had been living my life based on other people's ideas of who I should be and the unrealistic expectations that either I allowed others to place on me or, if I'm honest, the expectations I had placed upon myself.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, permission is defined as approval, consent, or authorization by someone in authority to do something. It is the act of allowing an action or the state of being allowed to perform a task.
Three Things That Happen When You Truly Stop Asking for Permission
1. You Put an End to People-Pleasing & Begin to Know Who You Are
Congratulations!
You've finally decided to stop being a people pleaser.
Those who live a life of pleasing others often base their lives on everyone else's opinions, expectations, or ideas for who they should become. Somewhere along the way, many have been taught that pleasing others will earn them love, loyalty, acceptance, or approval. In reality, however, there is often something within that still needs healing. Past trauma or seasons of rejection can convince us that our worth depends on the validation of others.
The moment you stop requesting permission from everyone else is the moment you realize that you are enough.
There is no need to seek approval from others or search outwardly for something that God has already placed within you. Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that obtaining the approval of others was the pinnacle of success.
For example, many women working in male-dominated industries spend their days striving to meet quotas, exceed expectations, climb the corporate ladder, and earn salaries comparable to their counterparts. We work tirelessly trying to prove ourselves.
But the real power isn't found in striving, proving, or gaining validation.
It comes from truly knowing who you are.
It comes from understanding that God does not make mistakes. The moment you become bold enough to stop seeking the approval or permission of others is the very moment you give yourself permission to stop asking for it.
There is tremendous power in knowing who you are.
James 1:4 (NIV) reminds us, "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
The key to no longer asking for permission is fully understanding that you are not lacking anything. Everything you need to become who God created you to be was already placed inside of you before you were formed in your mother's womb. That is how God designed you.
Can you continue to grow? Absolutely.
Can you improve? Most definitely.
But the day you stop asking for permission is the day you give yourself permission to be completely free from people-pleasing. Chasing the approval of others will always leave you empty because no amount of outside validation can fill a void that only God was meant to satisfy.
2. You Give the World Permission to Meet the Real You
The day you stop asking for permission is also the day you give the world permission to experience the authentic you.
So much of who God created you to be can never come to light if you continue living beneath the expectations of others — or worse, dimming your own light so someone else can shine brighter.
Stop asking for permission to shine.
If someone is uncomfortable because your light shines brightly, that is their burden — not yours.
We are living in a world where darkness often seems to overshadow the light. Now more than ever, we need people who are willing to shine boldly and unapologetically.
Matthew 5:14–16 (ESV) says, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
When you allow your light to shine, it illuminates not only dark places but also everyone within your own home.
Your family needs to see that it is okay to become who God created them to be.
As you boldly shine your light, you are not only giving your family permission to do the same, you are giving others permission as well.
Your courage becomes someone else's freedom.
3. You Walk Boldly into Destiny & Purpose
Lastly, the day you stop asking for permission is the day you begin walking confidently into your destiny and purpose.
Too often, we allow the voices of others to drown out God's instruction, direction, and guidance.
God's leading is the true GPS for our lives. It becomes much easier to hear His voice when we stop asking everyone else for permission and simply become who He created us to be. No longer do doubt and unbelief speak louder than His promises. You become an active participant in your own life instead of a cautious spectator.
Sometimes... scratch that... at all times, life was meant to be lived.
Yet so many people merely exist instead of truly living because they are secretly waiting for permission — from a boss, a parent, a spouse, a friend, or even from the "perfect" moment that never seems to arrive.
The day you stop asking for permission is the day true freedom begins.
It is the moment purpose becomes inevitable because fear no longer has the final word.
Instead, faith is finally given the opportunity to do its perfect work.
Stop waiting.
Stop apologizing.
Stop shrinking.
The permission you've been waiting for has already been given by the One who created you.
Now go live the life He designed for you.