Come Back to Your Roots: The Foundation That Was Always There
by Deneen L. Garrett
A Dreaming After 50 column on what it means to return to yourself — and build from the ground
you never really left
Being rooted isn’t where you start. It’s where you return.
There is a difference between being lost and being untethered. Lost means you don’t know where you are. Untethered means you’ve drifted from what you know — your values, your truth, the version of yourself that doesn’t need anyone’s permission to exist. Most women over 50 who feel stuck aren’t lost. They’re untethered. And the way back is not forward. It’s down. Back to the root.
In a recent conversation on WOC Live, Nicole Seabrooks, Manager of Repair Services at Tiffany & Co. and mom of twin girls, said something we need to lock in on: “You have something to prove until you don’t have something to prove anymore.” After losing her mother, Nicole returned to school mid-career, set intentional boundaries, and chose to stop letting urgency make her decisions. That shift didn’t come from a new opportunity. It came from getting clear about what she was actually standing on. Your values are your root system. When you know them, you stop drifting.
That truth went even deeper in my conversation with Dr. Dominica McBride, community psychologist, founder of Become, and author of Becoming Changemakers. When I asked her what one step a woman could take to become the changemaker her community needs, she said one word: rest. Not productivity. Not a plan. Rest. As she teaches, rest is resistance. And as author Tricia Hersey writes in Rest as Resistance, even 10 minutes of stillness is an act of returning to yourself. You cannot pour from a depleted place. You cannot build from ground you’ve abandoned.
Three Ways to Return to Your Foundation
Name what you stand on. Your values are not decorative. They are structural. Write down three things you know to be true about yourself that have nothing to do with your title, your role, or your productivity. Those are your roots. Return to them when the world tries to define you.
Prune what no longer belongs. Every Fall, trees release what they no longer need. You have that same permission. What commitment, relationship, or belief are you still holding that belongs to a version of you that no longer exists? Release it with intention, not apology.
Rest as a practice. Every Sunday inside the Dream Lifestyle™ Collective, a newsletter community for Black women 50+, the Reset begins with one feeling-based question: not what’s on your list, but what is actually true for you right now? That weekly return is itself a root. Consistency is how you stay tethered.
You don’t have to find yourself. You have to return to yourself. The foundation was always there — under the noise, under the doing, under the years of becoming what the world needed you to be. It is still there. And it is strong enough to build on.
Come back to your roots. Everything rises from there. 🖤
Deneen L. Garrett is a Cultural Alchemist and Media Architect who shift shapes culture through storytelling — writing, speaking (international), podcasting and community building. She is the Founder of the Dream Lifestyle™ Collective — a newsletter community where Black women 50+ Dream, Decide/Design and Drive™ their next chapter with joy and intention. Explore the movement at deneenlgarrett.com. Deneen is also the creator and host of Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation — a Top 20 Women’s Empowerment podcast, Top 5% of 4M+ podcasts worldwide — now streaming live every Thursday at 1p ET as WOC Live on YouTube @deneenlgarrett.