Being Rooted in Who You Are: What being rooted means and how to cultivate it
by Novia Reid
Being rooted in who you are isn’t about achievement, perfection, or never making mistakes. It’s not about living up to a standard. Rather, it is about knowing yourself well, living from conviction, and making choices that align with your values, boundaries, and beliefs.
When I think about the word rooted, I think about trees. Their roots give them stability, nourishment, and the capacity to flourish and bear fruit.
The same is true for us as women.
When we are deeply aware of and live by our values, beliefs, and boundaries, we thrive. We flourish. We bear meaningful fruit. That fruit may look like deeply aligned and healthy relationships. It may look like confidence that permeates the environments we enter. It may look like self-love that is evident in how we speak to ourselves, care for ourselves, and make decisions that honor us.
So how do we become more rooted in who we are?
By knowing ourselves well. By allowing ourselves to shed the habits, ideas, and ways of being that no longer align with who we are and embracing the ones that do. By evolving without being changed by guilt over who or what may be left behind.
We become more rooted through self-forgiveness when we fall short of our own standards, values, and boundaries.
It also happens through dating ourselves. When we date someone, we spend time with them. We seek to understand them. We pay attention to what matters to them, how they think, what they value, and whether there is alignment. While there may be discomfort and even stigma around dating ourselves, it can transform how we nurture ourselves. It can help us heal, grow, and experience greater inner peace (Sancheti, 2024). As we heal, grow, and begin to embody inner peace, we become more empowered to live out who we truly are at our core.
As we come to know ourselves more deeply, we develop a clearer understanding of what matters and what we need. When we understand who we truly are, we can begin to recognize that our worth isn’t based on looks, achievement, and what we do (Bhuyan et al., 2023). That understanding and recognition cultivates rootedness.
Being rooted in who you are does not mean you will never change or evolve. It does not mean you will always make choices that align with your core values. We are vulnerable at times. But as you remain rooted through self-dating, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, support, and nurturing your well-being and growth, you cultivate fulfillment, peace, and favor with God and others. You cultivate wholeness. And that is a place worthy of living from.
Novia Reid, PhD, is a licensed clinical social worker, transformational speaker, and author. She is the founder of Regain Your Core®, which helps women reconnect with themselves and regain their identity through the Regain Your Core® 30-Day Journal, course, and coaching experiences. Learn more at noviareid.com.