A Woman Who Remembered Her Roots: A modern parable for the next part of your journey
by Charlene A. Berry
For the women who have spent years holding on and holding back there comes a moment when life quietly asks you to take your eyes off the outward appearance and look intently beneath the surface of who you really are.
Not at what you’ve built, but at what has been holding you up. For you, it begins with your roots. Not so much your lineal roots such as family; although it is a good place that serves a different purpose. But the roots that you, yourself, produced on your own. The roots you’ve cultivated and are now desiring to care for you.
Taken from the Self-Silencing Theory by Dana Crowley Jack (1991 Silencing the Self — Harvard University Press), she admits this theory is one of the most replicated findings in women’s psychology. Self-silencing was originally developed to explain depression in women who silenced their authentic selves to preserve relationships. Outwardly, self-silencing behaviors appeared compliant and pleasing; but inwardly, women experienced anger and inauthenticity, leading to negative self-assessment and hopelessness which creates vulnerability in who they are and can be.
And now, your roots are calling you out. Those beautifully strong and enduring ones that arrive in the form of an internal glow.
For seasons on end, you have barely noticed the soft light warming the darkness of your bedroom – not from the lamp, not from the window, but from you. You lift your hand, and the inward glow follows, revealing thin, shimmering lines beneath your skin. They branch like rivers, thread-like veins, and weave like luminous roots. Gold like courage. Cooper like memory. Red like truth.
You freeze.
The glow dims, as if recognizing your hesitation. The same hesitation that has held you back for years. You whisper, “What is happening to me?” The light within shows you the places where your roots are strong. The wisdom you carry. The resilience you’ve earned, the faith that held you, and the courage that never left.
The glow brightens to a Red hue. Truth. What’s happening to you indeed? The you that was once fearless. The you that was once imaginative. The talented you who was full of wonder and joy. Your roots know what happened to you.
You stand, and the moment your feet touch the floor, the light travels upward, settling in your chest like a truth you’ve been carrying but not honoring. Then you see it — a thin, trembling strand near your heart, dimmer than the rest.
You touch it gently. It flickers a soothing Copper. Now, you are remembering what has kept you back. What has kept you stuck. A familiar feeling that begins to pulsate through every fiber of your being. An inkling of the woman you once were. A forgotten memory of the person you once knew but have forgotten — not on purpose — but because you did not make room for her in your seasons of doubt, pleasing others, and sacrificing your own worth for someone else’s. But oh, how you have longed for her return.
Your roots remember that something was taken. Not from your hand… but from the lie you’ve been living that has held you stuck in time. You don’t know which lie yet, but you feel its weight. And the glow softens, inviting you to follow it.
You move through your home, watching the light dim under your skin near the places where you stayed silent, and brightened near the places where you told the truth.
At your kitchen table, the one where you swallowed your voice to keep the peace — the glow weakens. At your unopened journal. The one you kept promising to return to — the glow surges.
You open it.
Blank pages. Untouched. Waiting. The glow wraps around your hand like permission.
You write the first sentence without hesitation:
“I have been living a life that looks rooted, but feels uprooted.”
The glow steadies. And for the first time in years, you feel the real you stirring, ever so gently.
The Moment the Roots Speak
The glow doesn’t come to expose you. It comes to guide you.
It shows you the places where your roots have been neglected, the boundaries you’ve let spill over with regrets, with “what if’s” scenarios, with unhealed wounds, and with questions you should have asked, but didn’t. The dreams you postponed, the truths you swallowed, and the exhaustion you normalized.
And then it shows you one more thing:
A root that refuses to heal until you stop holding back.
Not your strength. Not your voice. Not your needs. But your truth.
Your roots are asking for honesty, not performance.
They are asking for alignment, not appearance.
They are asking for you, the real you. That version of yourself that was fearless. Full of joy. The one who laughed at her own mistakes and kept moving. The you who would step out on faith and ignored the opinions of others. That You! The strong resilient one. The Gold you. Courage.
The Root Ritual
Here is a simple practice for caring for your roots:
The glow doesn’t disappear. It softens with each care practice you take into account. It settles, like light beneath the surface.
You sit with your journal, and the glow steadies as if offering a final instruction:
“Begin where your light went out.”
So you do.
You write three things:
Where your truth dimmed
Where your voice was silenced
Where your roots need strengthening now
Then you write one more line, the line that becomes your new foundation:
“I choose to stop holding back by allowing my roots guide me.”
You close the journal.
The glow settles into your skin like a healing balm.
And you realize:
You are not being asked to rebuild your life. You are being asked to return to yourself. This is how you remember who you are by remembering your roots.
Charlene A. Berry is a trained prevention specialist. She equips individuals, families, and communities with tools, education, and strategies to reduce risk, build resilience, and prevent crisis — before it happens. She addresses root causes, shifts mindsets, and creates pathways to health, safety, and wholeness. Charlene is also the author of Taming the Big 3: Your Mind, Mouth & Emotions – Applying Biblical Strategies to Keep You in Control When They Are Out of Control. Visit her website at www.youareworthit1.com