From the Why Factor to the Grace of Gratitude
I’m a person who asks “why?”
When I was a little girl I annoyed my sister with nighttime questions: “why is the sky blue?” or “why is an orange round?” or “why does it have to rain?” or “where does the sun go at night?” She was six years older than me and couldn’t answer my questions. My three sisters and I shared a bedroom, and my older sister always had to tell me to “stop asking questions and go to sleep.”
Decades later, I’m still asking why. But now, my questions are bigger, about life, purpose, and peace.
I joke that if Google were around when I was a little girl, I wouldn’t have asked my sister so many questions. Confession: I didn’t realize how much I still ask questions until my daughter was playing basketball. We were in a meeting that included parents and kids listening to a summer basketball coach explain how the process would work for the summer team. We were in a gym and everyone sat on the different rows of risers. The coach opened the meeting for parents to ask questions. After the last question was asked, he offered to answer any outstanding questions. I sat on the top riser, and no one had any other questions, but several people turned to look at me, guessing that I had another question. I didn’t have additional questions, but it was a funny moment.
Over time, I realized that I have a curious mind and a somewhat unquestionable thirst for knowledge and understanding. During life’s difficulties and challenging circumstances, ‘why’ would linger in my mind. I would feel anxious and my soul unsettled.
While I recognized that asking ‘why’ doesn’t always lead to answers, I had to learn how to find inner peace. I often have to quell my mind from dramatic and frightening thoughts, and make a conscious effort to find a solution. While seeking solace and strength to understand and cope when life goes awry, I have read several books about gratitude.
Shifting to the Grace of Gratitude
While some people embrace gratitude with easy acceptance, I had to make a conscientious effort to understand the mysterious role of gratitude. I learned that gratitude is the grace that helps us cope with life’s difficulties. You can experience a season of struggle, loss, or uncertainty — and that’s when you realize gratitude was the key to peace and acceptance.
I had to shift my focus and change how I view life’s challenges, expanding my thought process to engage in positive thinking and allow gratitude to lead the way.
Gratitude helps to change the focus from ourselves to appreciating someone or something which allows the opportunity to express thankfulness for every part of our life. Learning to express appreciation for all aspects of life, both good and bad, in a regular and consistent way is a goal or habit that I aspire to achieve. Gratitude can help people feel happier, more positive, and more compassionate, and can also lead to a number of other benefits.
Gratitude is Intentional
Learning that an attitude of gratitude means making a conscious habit of expressing appreciation on a regular basis for big and small things alike was eye-opening. A friend that keeps a gratitude journal shared that she writes how grateful she is for relationships, health, business, material items, food in her cupboards, and her overall sense of well-being.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is intentional. Some people glide into gratitude with ease. While others have to be conscientious. It helps to make it a daily habit. Be grateful and thankful for everything you appreciate in life. When we express appreciation, what we appreciate grows and increases in value. Practicing gratitude toward our relationships, work, health, home, and mindset makes these things more important to us. Choose to spend your time and energy on what you are most thankful for.
Having an attitude of gratitude has helped me view situations with a sense of optimism. I strive to look at things with a half-glass full lens. You can choose to spend time and energy appreciating big and small moments that can fill your internal well of positivity so that it reflects a buoyant attitude of gratitude.
Practicing gratitude hasn’t silenced my questions — it simply changed their tone. Instead of asking “why is this happening to me?”, I now ask, “what can I learn from this?” Gratitude hasn’t erased life’s challenges, but it’s given me the grace to face them with an open heart.
Robin Allen is a multi-published author of women’s fiction, romance, and YA novels: It Starts With A Promise: A Novel; It’s Complicated: A Novel; The Best Thing Yet; If I Were Your Woman; Breeze and The Starters: Unexpected. As a freelance writer, she has written 40+ articles for national publications, including Hope, Digital Flourish, Essence, Today’s Black Woman, Atlanta Woman, Black Elegance, and Diversity Careers. Robin has worked as a senior-level manager in marketing, communications, and public relations for Fortune 500 and technology companies.