Clarity Over Chaos: Beginning Again With Purpose
By late January, the pressure is real. The new year glow has worn off and real life is loud again. If you’re a woman carrying a full life, this season can feel less like a clean slate and more like an overloaded browser: too many tabs, all demanding attention.
Becoming more of who you’re meant to be doesn’t start with doing more. It starts with choosing better. The American Psychological Association has reported that when people have more choices, they can have less stamina and be less productive. That’s why clarity is not a vibe. It’s a practice. It’s also a quiet leadership advantage because it protects your energy, strengthens your decisions, and helps you stay consistent.
Here’s a simple 30-day clarity cadence you can start today. Week one simplifies. Week two stabilizes. Weeks three and four sustain, so your choices actually hold.
Week one: Create defaults that protect your energy. Pick your “default yes” for the month in three categories: food, movement, and focus. For example: oatmeal for breakfast, a 20-minute walk after lunch, and one primary priority each workday. Defaults reduce the number of daily decisions, which frees your mind for choices that actually change outcomes. When your baseline is steady, your creativity and confidence have room to breathe.
Week two: Name three non-negotiables. These are not goals. They’re standards. Examples: “I protect my mornings,” “I stop over-explaining,” “I keep promises to myself.” When you feel scattered, return to your non-negotiables and let them guide your next move. This is how purpose stays practical in a life that moves fast.
Weeks three & four: Choose support on purpose. Social support is not a luxury add-on, it’s part of resilience. A National Institutes of Health resource describes social support as a predictor of physical and mental health and a buffer that protects people from the bad effects of stressful life events. Identify two people for the month: one who tells the truth with love and one who reminds you who you are when you forget. Put two check-ins on the calendar and make them recurring.
This is the kind of practical becoming I teach through the Dream → Decide/Design → Drive™ approach: reduce the noise, choose with intention, and build support so it lasts.
If you need language for what you’re practicing, borrow it from Black women who tell the truth without softening it. In All About Love: New Visions, bell hooks defines love as a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect, and trust. Choosing yourself is love in action. Clarity is love in action. Support is love in action.
And when the world tries to hand you a script of overwhelm, take Zora Neale Hurston’s posture. In “How It Feels to Be Colored Me,” Zora wrote, “No, I do not weep at the world — I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.”
Start here: What would I choose if I trusted myself fully? Answer it once. Then build your next 30 days around that answer.
Deneen L. Garrett is the Founder and CEO of Deneen L. Garrett LLC, a Dream Lifestyle Coach, writer and international speaker. She is the creator of the Dream Lifestyle™ Collective, a curated space for Black women 50+ to Dream, Decide/Design and Drive™ their next chapter with joy and intention. Deneen is also the creator and host of “Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation,” a 100 Best Women’s Empowerment podcast.